My Martin Luther King Jr day 2009

Yesterday I had a "Lazy Day"...
Not that MOST people would even call it a lazy day, I DO STILL have twin toddlers.

But I decided not to worry with housework or laundry, but just to hang out with my daughters.
I felt extremely guilty! My husband spent a day off Friday and didn't do a THING, nothing, not a dish not a single load of laundry. He did put some fluid of some sort into his truck but that amounts to brushing your teeth, something he can do with his eyes closed.

I came home with the twins and proceeded to cook dinner, no big deal, I didn't ask him to cook and he didn't know if I had anything planned, no worries, this is an everyday thing. At dinner I asked him about his day, my way of making my point without nagging, I HATE to be called a nag and insubordinate (different story) , kind of like Hancock's dislike of being called an asshole. I mentioned that I would have really appreciated it if he had emptied the dish washer for me, and politely asked him if he would do it for me tonight, please. He did, somewhat begrudgingly, but he didn't let on about that until the following day.

I mentioned to my friend the details I just described and she tells me she would have fussed and complained. One thing I have learned in the 5 years 2 months of marriage, is that fussing and complaining doesn't have to be the norm, at least with MY spouse. I know what works for me and him for that matter. I have realized that in the past I didn't voice my concerns about things around the house until I exploded in frustration and streams of profanity flowed from my mouth like hot molten lava laying waste to the nearby country side. I am at least conscience enough to focus on the situation at hand and I have never attacked my husband's manhood or fatherhood. But I have pointed out to him that he does only what he wants to do around the house and that what he doesn't do doesn't fall back to him, it falls back to me, and what I don't do, waits until I get a chance to do it. I said that to him 4 months ago and there has been a marked difference in how he approached housework and the laundry. I still must ask if I want to see the vacuum in action not under my own power, but he will load that washing machine and put up some clothes!! Yeah, COME TO MAMA!!!

There is NOTHING like seeing your man do housework. I don't care what your "thing" is for a turn on, but have him wash dished and clothes so you don't have to worry about it, is AWESOME! I tell you, it is especially potent if the actions are unrequested and spontaneous! It is a wonderful feeling.

After HIS day off, I did some volunteer work at the thrift store and he was home alone with the twins. He got and enviable amount of work done around the house, and they were asleep when I got home, down for a GOOD nap. (something I couldn't get them to take today to save my LIFE, even after having them walk over a mile!) He tells me tonight after dinner that he walks the "Dog mess out of them" when he has them and works them "like Ethiopians for a meal" which elicited screams of laughter from me.

He cracks me up. It is good that we can laugh together since he hates it out here so completely and with a burning passion. Being out here can make or break a relationship. It is bad enough for military personnel anyway... who knows I wasn't in a position to see the ugly fights and ill will people have towards their soon to be X spouses, like I am working at the bank here on post. People just do some mean things to people they once said they loved, it is heart breaking to see. Makes me come home and tell my husband how much I love him.

Well today, I had a "plan" after the twins got into their hair grease and my make-up, I had some steam cleaning to do, so I did that while they played on my bed. I got them dressed to go to the park, I met another mom and her kids and we walked to another friends house and we all walked to the farthest park with the nicest playground. Good for everyone. I thought that a couple hours of play and a good long walk would knock them out, Not so much! The are asleep now, at 7pm, but that is sheer exhaustion since they didn't sleep this afternoon, when we got home. I'll take that...

I know the husband wasn't thrilled about me mentioning the dishes, because the way that he retold our conversation to me had a bit of a naggy tone, but he was just letting me know that he understood where I was coming from when I made my request. He's a keeper.

In just 4 days he will make the trip to LAX to pick up my Coley, I can't wait to see her, I am beside myself with anticipation of just being able to spend time with her.

More ramblings to come
'Til next time...